SOS Banque

Doreen and I kept our French bank account open when we left, because we liked the convenience of having a French credit card, since American cards often don't work well in Europe.

It came in handy last Christmas, when I was trying to put together a mix tape of songs we heard in France for Doreen's Christmas present. I thought it would be easy to find such megastars as Gérard de Palmas and Grégory Lemarchal on iTunes, but I was wrong. To get French songs, you need to open a French iTunes account using a French credit card. Having the French account open worked well then.

Unfortunately, it's not working quite as well now. We just received a statement, and there are quite a few euros missing. Doreen and I found a Website with advice on writing letters in French, and we used it to write a letter to the bank. It was helpful with etiquette, such as adding the requisite polite flourish to the closing: "Please accept, Madam, the expression of my distinguished feelings."

I've used Google to translate our letter back into English, and the results (below) are oddly accurate. We would like your assistance pleasant, ok? No Parisian snootiness, please. And no, I do not speak French good.

Madam,

I have a problem with my account and I would like your assistance pleasant.

I did not receive a banking of account since April and I do not know how much the movements in my account are new. Is it possible for you to send to me another banking of account for May, June, July, August, September, October, November, and December of 2005?

I see that it is possible to employ the access by English Internet with "Logitel Net", but I do not have "Code Customer". It would be easier that I employ access Internet because I am in the United States. Could you send information to me, preferably in English, on employing Logitel Net?

I consider it regrettable that I do not speak French good. I would appreciate it considerably if you would be pleasant as for answer me in English or easy French.

I thank you for your kindness. Please accept, Madam, the expression of my distinguished feelings.